Pulitzer Prize-winning author

Tebow Transmogrifies

On its face, Tim Tebow rehumanized this weekend, pulling a donkey in Denver against the Pats.

Ye of Little Faith.

He did it again. Won in the fourth quarter. This time, in another stadium. Nine hundred miles away.

It’s Tebowtransmogrifying time.

No sooner had the Broncos given up the ghost in Denver then I take you to…Oakland Alameda County Coliseum. Home to the arch-rival Raiders, comfortably in front of the Detroit Lions by two touchdowns with 7:47 left in the fourth quarter. (The Raiders can only ever be “comfortably” in front in the sense that Mitt Romney can ever be comfortably in front, but I digress…)

The Raiders, as in: the team that trails the Broncos by only a single game in their division. The Raiders need only have held this late-in-the-fourth-quarter lead to be in a tie going into the last two games.

And then (channel inner reading voice of Howard Cosell)…Matthew Stafford drops…back… to…pass. The short version: Matthew engineers one score to bring the game to 27-21. And then the Lions got the ball back, with 2:14 left, on the three yard line, THEIR OWN THREE (‘cause sometimes italics just won’t cut it). You know what time it is.

It’s Tebowtransmogrifying time.

Hovering like the father, the son and the ghost of Bobby Lane, the disembodied Tebow/Matthew creature leads the Lions to a remarkable last-minute victory, including crazy floaty-Tebow-ethereal like passes of 21 and 48 yards.

The Lions. As in: the witch and the wardrobe. Narnia. Are you with me, people?!

It’s Tebowtransmogryfying time.

He cannot be contained. Not to a single quarter, or, rather, not to a single quarter in a single stadium.

Let us sing:

You better watch out, you better not cry

You better not shout, I’m telling you why

Tim Tebow is transmogriphying around

He knows if you are blitzing, he’s got a rough sense of nickel coverage

It matters not if you’re bad or good, ‘cause there are periods he’s not entirely average


You better watch out, you better not bet

It’s getting weirder, miracles abound

Tim Tebow is transmogriphying around

PS – Did I mention I grew up in Boulder and attended most home Bronco games as a kid? I’m just sayin’


One response

  1. Rick Chandler

    Time for a Tebow update. You must revive this blog!


    October 11, 2012 at 12:34 am

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